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Resentment: Family Style


The following is an angry rant from last month. Today, I'm more accepting and no longer consumed by anger and jealousy. Why publish this post? Honesty and full disclosure.  Coming to terms with the things I cannot change and the poison that sometimes takes root in my brain.
Time to do more work...I got a message from my mother tonight going on about my sister's health issues and how my other sister is with her. And she's so glad that she's with her, taking care of her. Give me a God forsaken break and gag me. Am I supposed to be sad for her? She has had the attention of the entire family for the duration of my TERMINAL illness. Her illness, while life-threatening and serious, could be helped by quitting smoking and, eating healthfully, and exercising. Yet, she flouts medical advice, keeps smoking, overeating, gobbling pain pills, and driving under the influence. Sounds like a death wish to me.
Meanwhile, I have no chance at survival, no matter how much I don't smoke, drink, nor eat. We all rallied for her, hospital visits, trips into Seattle to include her in holidays. What do I get? Empty promises, mostly. Oh, they will visit..When my daughter comes to see me..From California. They don't bother bringing me holiday meals. And, my sister who's so graciously caring for her? Was shitty to me and walked out on me when I was recovering from a respiratory infection that nearly took my life two days prior. Double standard? Most definitely. Oh yeah, if I tell anybody this dirty, little bit of laundry, they blame me. Lovely. I feel so blessed with dysfunctional family. Let it rain with tsk tsk and insinuations about my mental health. It's the only weapon they have. The truth is they let me down. I made my amends to them long ago.

 My family surprised me by showing up en masse to my #2015WalktoDefeatALS. Both my mother and my sister showed up in wheelchairs to support me on the walk. My Dad and honorary nephew, Josh pushed the wheelchairs. So appreciated. I needed to see my family go out of their way to for me. I needed to see that I matter to them. It's a failing.
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Location: 2720 E Madison St, Seattle, WA 98112, USA

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