Skip to main content

Spasmodica

Acute muscle spasms wrack different parts of my body; I yawn and my throat goes into spasm, threatening to lockdown my voice box. When I tilt my head up to get my teeth brushed, my neck muscles clench shooting pain to the base of my skull. A tiny muscle has "given up the ghost" on the left side of my mouth, while the right side lifts baring my front teeth. My nose twitches but not in the cute Bewitched way.

Whenever I am moved down in bed, my chest spasms and I, spasmodically gasp and gulp for air. Speaking of my chest, there are two muscles that jiggle my breasts; now, those spasms are comedic. They seem to say, "Hey, lookie here!". A lot of good that would do!

Muscles in my arms, legs, and torso wiggle and jiggle countless times throughout the day. It's gotten so that I barely notice them, save for the largest ones that seem like I can measure on a seismograph. Reclining brings on a spontaneous stretch that, literally, curls my toes. Unfortunately, many quite often lock those toes and "charlie" my calves bilaterally.

It may sound like I have nothing but pain and discomfort; I don't. I manage to get along, narcotic-free, most of the time. Gabapentin (Neurontin) for nerve pain, Ibuprofen for pain relief, and a non-narcotic muscle relaxer, are my mainstays for functioning. Thus far, it works but I've been forced to use hydrocodone and morphine for short periods for breakthrough pain. Luckily, this has occurred only a few times. Occasionally, I've had to resort to a mild narcotic muscle relaxer, Tizanadine.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Remember...

I remember catching fireflies,  putting them in a jar, as a girl of five. I picked pears off a tree that overhung an alleyway on my route home from school, then enjoyed the forbidden fruit. .I had a golden cat who chased a gray mouse through our living room sending my mother, 3-year old sister, and me screaming atop the sofa and chairs. We lived in a farmhouse and I watched Romper Room. A daddy longlegs skittered across my dirty kid legs as I teeter-tottered on a broken kitchen chair back. I played grocery store and laid out a bedroll for group nap time in preschool. We lived in an apartment attached to a bakery. My maternal grandparents visited and a photo was snapped. Grandma held Dawn and Grandpa held me. I held Grandpa's chin. Walking through the back of the flour-caked kitchen, I saw scrumptious pastries and colorful toys stuck in the cupcakes with my hungry kids eyes. We lived in a two-story apartment building next door to a large farmer's field.  That field was my...

Shards Cling To

I just met my new psychologist and I already like her. I would say that it is effortless to talk to her, but talking to anyone through an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) device takes a great deal of effort. One must think about what to say and drill it down concisely and succinctly, Then attempt to type it out with your eyes on a wonderous, but infuriating machine, and hope you nail the 'Speak' button, and not the 'Cancel' button. You're praying that the device doesn't spontaneously, disengage the eye gaze, leaving you mute and helpless. You're also praying that the calibration holds and your eyes don't tire or dry out. Aside from all of that, she did not overwhelm me with rapid fire questions, nor invade my personal space, by insisting on reading while I'm writing, instead of allowing me to "speak". Those things are huge. Counseling somebody with my disabilities, present unique challenges. I have major physical deficit...

Lashing Out

Fed up. Sick of hearing, "I'm sorry."  Apologies don't erase the pain you inflict on me. You pull my pubic hair. Your nitrile gloves pull the hair from my head. Not once in a while but day in and day out. You turn me in a manner that suits you rather than in a manner that doesn't stress my body. Why won't you use the pad and sheet to turn me as one unit? Instead, you allow my body to twist as you hold me one-handed. How good you are at your job. What part of "my muscles are dying" don't you understand?