My husband finally had my VHS-c tapes transferred to DVD format. Oh what fun! And illuminating as well! I've been binge-watching these DVDs ever since.
They contain the most precious of memories. Memories of my daughter and my first husband and me. It's obvious to me how in love with our daughter we were. Still are, speaking for me. I don't speak for my now ex-husband.
What I discovered, or was able to reaffirm, was that I was a good mother and my exhusband was a good father. My mother-in-law was exceptional. Exceptionally patient, kind, and generous. This, I always knew. I don't know who I mourned more with the loss of that first marriage, my husband or my mother-in-law or sister-in-law. I loved them all so much. My daughter, I loved most of all. Still do.
I also saw how much I favor my grandmother. While my immediate family are of similar mindset, I am different. Whether it be nature or nurture, I turned my back on their lifestyle and attitude. That doesn't make me better than. It just makes us of a different mind. I've always striven for better and more. I can see it in my mode of dress, the husband I chose, the jobs I took, my furnishings, all of it.. I do not apologize.
They contain the most precious of memories. Memories of my daughter and my first husband and me. It's obvious to me how in love with our daughter we were. Still are, speaking for me. I don't speak for my now ex-husband.
What I discovered, or was able to reaffirm, was that I was a good mother and my exhusband was a good father. My mother-in-law was exceptional. Exceptionally patient, kind, and generous. This, I always knew. I don't know who I mourned more with the loss of that first marriage, my husband or my mother-in-law or sister-in-law. I loved them all so much. My daughter, I loved most of all. Still do.
I also saw how much I favor my grandmother. While my immediate family are of similar mindset, I am different. Whether it be nature or nurture, I turned my back on their lifestyle and attitude. That doesn't make me better than. It just makes us of a different mind. I've always striven for better and more. I can see it in my mode of dress, the husband I chose, the jobs I took, my furnishings, all of it.. I do not apologize.
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