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Vicious Cycle

Let's get gritty. Some days are definitely better than others! I lost my sh*t yesterday. Frustration combined with exhaustion gets me every stinkin' time! I'm not able to deal with stress in the same manner as I used to. I can't explain what's happening in situ because I cannot speak. I can't scream and yell because that requires air volume and diaphragm muscle strength. I cannot point, motion, or signal in any way because my fingers, hands, and arms are paralyzed. I can't expend excess energy because there is none. No walking around the block to cool off for obvious reasons.

I volumn up some but not like a normal, healthy, mature homo sapiens. I do cry piteously, from the very bottom of my heart and I am powerless to stop. Though my tears stain my face, my eyes swell, my nose runs into my mouth, (eww) sinus pressure builds up to blind me, hurt my ears, and throb my teeth. Every time I swallow my ears pop inward shooting excruciating pain inward. This pain, in turn, causes more crying which causes more pain...  It's a viscious cycle!

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