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Memory is Malleable

During my trip to Ocean Shores to spend quality time with my mother, I realized that I'm glad I went. Not just for the obvious rewards of all things ocean...We got the opportunity to pour over long-unseen photographs and compare notes. Memory is funny thing, "malleable" is the word that best applies since memory is not a static thing. Malleable means flexible, moldable, pliable, and changeable. It is really based upon our own experiences, our differing points of view, where we are in our lives, etc. I really noticed the malleability during our time of reminiscence. I used to think that my mother just distorted the facts to suit her fancy (and granted I still think she does some of this but not as much as I always presumed). Sometimes it is the mere passage of time and the fact that so very much happens in our lives. There is just no possible way that we can remember every moment, nor every date, nor which event coincided with which event. That is why I feel it is so very important to photograph my life, taking notes, and writing stories. Although I must admit that I lack consistency.

Recently I was instructed to make a timeline of my life. I had already partially constructed one over the span of my sober years and saw firsthand value in such an endeavor. It allowed me to see progress where my memory had failed to grasp it. I discovered that I have blinders on that block the big picture of my life.

While I have a rough outline, I still lack little details of where I was at what particular time. Talking with my Mom helped me to understand my earliest years a little better. The real reasons she left my second stepfather as well as why she left my real father. Now that I've made my own "mistakes" in life, I can better understand the fallibilities of hers. It's good to make peace in one's mind regarding one's mother.

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