IntrinsicTina

My husband asked that I write about my experience as a patient in the skilled nursing facility, Lifecare Center of Federal Way. It's a difficult endeavor due to my many traumatic experiences and the impact of fear and anxiety it left upon me. I hesitate because I don't want to insult the few good souls who made it bearable.  One may wonder why I did not document issues as they occurred. At first, I was unable to write due to the progression of ALS. Although, I owned a speech generating device, it was new and I was unpracticed. Additionally, I was having issues dealing with either frontotemporal disease (FTD) or PseudoBulbar Affect (PBA). My emotions were raw and I was laid open to impulsivity and acting rashly. (It's important to know what these conditions are NOT. They are NOT dementia. They do NOT effect cognition.).  I mention these deficits, not to evoke pity, but to gain understanding. Finally, I was intimidated. Fear of reprisal was more than a vague fear, on at lea...

  So much has happened in my life since my last blog entry! Let me just fast forward and tell you that all ends well...Eventually. September brought my husband leaving me, moving all of his personal belongings out of our home, hiring strangers to care for me, then taking off on our two-week Disney cruise to the Panama Canal. Our air-conditioner slow- leaked water,  buckling our diningroom subfloor. Our septic system failed. One of my two caregivers didn't work out. I alternated between all-consuming rage and soul-wrenching despair. I was seeing a team of therapists; physical, occupational, and speech.  One of my therapists called county mental health after I made an off-color remark about killing myself if only I had the ability. I thought the comment was more of a smart ass way of acknowledging physical helplessness. In retrospect, it was an indication of my increasing depression. October brought about a reconciliation of sorts. My husband stayed gone for six weeks. ...