IntrinsicTina

T oday is Day 16 of my new eating plan. Fourteen more days and I will add back in whole grains. I was bummed that I neglected to weigh-in at the beginning of this "re-newed" adventure but was encouraged with the advice that "the pants will tell the tale". I'm here to tell you that my belt is telling the tale of weight loss. I am down "two notches" on my blingin' Harley belt. Just an observance, I could have sworn that I was gaining weight or remaining the same as it seems that my tummy is pooching out more. Weight loss is a funny thing. One never knows where exactly it will come off first. Last time my boobs were deflated in what seemed like a blink of an eye and I mourned their loss. I'm sure they'll deflate back to a "normal" size soon and I'm bound to panic but I hope I will remember just how uncomfortable they were and how they caused a gap in every stinking blouse in my wardrobe.

Out with the "old" and in with the "new"? On this day we usher in a new year. I'd like to remember 2010. I spent most of the year on the roles of the unemployed but got a good job in August. With the help of my physician, I discovered that my crushing depression was organic and treatable and began a regime of vitamin D. Life has been good ever since. Though I put on a lot of weight (with the depression and all), I have hope that I can take it back off this year. I resolve to make better food choices, eliminating sugar, smaller portions, more water, meal planning and less compulsion. God help me. I lost my Grandma the day after Christmas but I got the blessing of being there at the end. I resolve to hold my family closer this year. I resolve to be an encourager, not a nay sayer. I resolve to get outta this bed and begin to live in 2011. Starting now....

I decided to do a little shopping today since Thursday is my 10th wedding anniversary. Rod and I talked about doing our shopping in Portland (to save the sales tax) but I began thinking about how the majority of my shopping trips go with my husband...they suck! He gets bored easily and let's just face it, he doesn't want to spend the money. I'm glad I took this route even though I will likely "pay for it" later in disapproving looks and backhand comments. I shopped the clearance racks (of course). I knew I had gained weight and expected to be buying big stuff and didn't want to spend a lot on stuff that I hopefully won't be wearing for very long. (Do you hear that psyche? I expect to go DOWN in size.) However, it is one day before my dot (a.k.a. period) and I wasn't exactly rockin' the racks. Crap!!! I guess that means my weight isn't just gonna evaporate away on it's own. I might have to actually make a commitment. I guess I got...

This is the sweetest rendition of overweight I could find on Google images. It is from a Light Fit Yogurt ad campaign. Attributions aside, I just realized how far my journey back into compulsive overeating and depression has taken me. I'm in the mood to chronicle... One year ago found me celebrating my husband's birthday at a fancy boutique hotel, dolled up to "the nines" at The Nines in Portland, Oregon. I was poured into a form-fitting dress, red cashmere coat, and heels. I'll admit that I felt sexy and glamorous and a bit smug about my accomplishment of dropping 40 lbs and 4 dress sizes over the previous year. I would catch myself wondering why everyone doesn't face their demons and get i nto some program that will allow them to become all they can be. Oopsie! My downward spiral started right about that time. I began allowing myself to have little "treats". When the barista at Starbuck's gave my husband a gratis cupcake for his birthday an...