IntrinsicTina

.     23 Had I not gotten ALS, I would not have met and experienced so many interesting people nor experienced the depths of people I already knew. Through the ALS Association Evergreen Chapter, I met an extraordinary couple with expansive hearts who turned their personal ALS journey into a lasting mission benefiting persons with ALS (PALS) in our region. Because of them, I personally benefited: by having a platform in which to connect one-to-one with other PALS, demystifying the disease and its processes; by being able to borrow necessary durable medical equipment as it became necessary with a fast-progressing paralyzing illness; by becoming empowered to do what I can to fight for a cure; by being offered educational resources and opportunities to learn about aspects of the disease I, otherwise wouldn't have been aware of. This amazing couple continue to allow PALS, their families, and caregivers meet right in their living room. Carl's first-hand insight and z...

I had a sketchy dream, most of them are. I had hiked up a gorgeously green hillside with companions, when we came upon a wide, tan vehicle. It was intriguing and different so we gathered around it. Sauntering up behind us, the owner started getting the vehicle ready For flight! Mistaking the vehicle for a road-borne craft, we were shocked. And irresistibly drawn to it. I, uncharacteristically, asked for a ride and landed a gracious invite. He was on his way to Boeing to make a document delivery and decided to let us tag along. The helicopter-esque craft had no blades but manuevered much in the same way. We lifted up, seemingly, without effort, encircling the area, admiring the waterways, greenways, and acres of white, light industrial and office buildings (looking a lot like Microsoft). Cars and roadways weren't in evidence on this tour. I commented to the pilot, my surprise at the lack of windows in the footwells, unlike my helicopter tour of the Hoover Dam. This lack did not im...

I seem to dream of everything that has ever happened in my life. In these dreams, I am whole, I have ALS but I have yet to display the symptoms. I am walking, talking, using my hands and fingers normally. I am not extraordinary, just as I was in my real life, performing routine activities on an above average level. A sought after employee that held herself in low esteem--always striving for perfection. Last night I went back to work at Wendy's Old-fashioned Hamburgers in Kent, Washington, the site of my first job. Lord only knows why. I was positioned in the front end as order coordinator but given no instruction; it was assumed I knew what I was doing as a former employee, regardless of the elapsed thirty-five years between then and now. The first order came in as I stood between the cashier and grill operator; I strained to recall the activities of my role. Do I lay down the bun and layer on the condiments for the grillman? Wrapper or no? Dip the chili? Ready the drinks? I ...

Have you ever been famous or had your "15 minutes of fame"? Why yes, yes, I have. For whatever it's worth. I had the rare opportunity to knit a piece for the Silver Anniversary edition of Vogue Knitting Magazine while working for a prestigious yarn and notions distributor. I paired two luxurious yarns together in silver and black and knitted an elegantly simple scarf that actually graced the pages of this historic crafters and designers full color periodical. I guess I wasn't famous per se, but my work had it's day in the spotlight and I'm kind of proud of that. I had my moment of being infamous and it brings me shame. Why mention it? Honesty. Full disclosure. Know all of me. Good and bad. There is a little good in the worst of us and a little bad in the best of us. We are human and imperfect after all. I once made the newspaper for running my car into a bicycle shop. Well, I wasn't actually named in the article nor was my photo published but it was su...

1 Reading, or more precisely, being read to, by a volunteer-turned-friend, "Awakening the Buddha Within", Is having a profound effect on my understanding and acceptance of myself in life. While I've found some degrees of spiritual enlightenment on my path since discovering Alcoholics Anonymous twenty years ago, this book is jelling together my understandings of principles and my life experience. My recall on step one is sketchy, although I think I understand more of why I "failed" to achieve more traditional success during my lifetime. That is not to say that I was a failure. I was not.   I was not...So many things. I held a lot of jobs throughout my lifetime, the longest spanning four years working for a chiropractor as his assistant at a pivotal point in my life. My highest career achievement was working my way up from temporary office worker to Executive Assistant to the president of division of a global .aerospace company.  My most formative and fun jobs...

I am not-so-independent but wish I were more so.  Stopped driving due to the rapid onset and pervasive weakness especially in my right-dominate hand.  Sold my Harley Davidson Deluxe and Subaru Outback, shopping for an economical wheelchair van (Dodge or Chrysler?).  Legs getting weak, balance is not-so-good but I do all I can to preserve what I have: good nutrition, supplements, water aerobics, arthosage and manual ligament therapy. I'm getting limited care at the University of Washington in Seattle but get nowhere when I've mentioned voice-banking.  Hmmm.  Considering Virginia Mason as most of my PALS friends get fabulous care. We are active in our local ALS support group. I am on social security disability and Medicare (which I've paid into all of my working years) but I lost my job at the onset of my symptoms.  Was working as an accountant for a small mfg business who tried to coerce me to commit blatant fraud.  I got super-stressed as I held t...

I dreamed that I was working my best job ever for the best boss ever.  Did not want to awaken.  I was able-bodied, useful, and fulfilled, not to mention, the job had all the prestige I could want.  What was it? Answer:  I was an Executive Secretary working for David R. Tanonis at Hexcel (an aerospace company).  I arrived bright and early, dressed for success in dresses and skirt and blazer combinations to "mahogany row".  Five months after beginning work, 911 happened.  My boss, the president of this multi-billion dollar division, asked me what he should do with regard to the shock and disbelief of our workers.  I suggested that he allow all persons who wished to leave work to grieve be allowed to do so.  He immediately made the announcement, most of our 1,100 employees left for the day.  It was the right call to protect the safety of our workers.  Much later I realized the precious gift this man gave me...I had his respect and tr...

Back in April 2012, I detailed a deteriorating health condition that was causing loss of strength, muscle spasms, and a whole lot of angst surrounding a decision I made to file a Labor & Industries claim.  On September 11th, while our country was re-counting our losses when those airplanes hit the twin towers, I experienced my own personal 9-Eleven.  My third EMG administered by a neurologist revealed that my supposed "nerve pinch in my neck" was much more grave than I could possibly realize...He told me that I had ALS or Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (a.k.a. Lou Gehrig's disease). If you are unaware of the details of this disease then you are not alone.  I only knew that it was a death sentence and I was emotionally "knocked off my feet".  My anguish knew no bounds as I tried to catch my breathe so I could drive myself home.  I walked into my doctor's office holding out hope that they would locate the errant nerve root and fix it even if it meant t...

Thankfully, one pastime that I haven't had to relinquish since the onset of my occupational disease is reading.  Having to put the kibosh on former activities such as working for a living, knitting, cooking (unable to safely control a knife), and many household chores, including yard work (BTW, I love yard work especially mowing and mulching), I am ever so grateful that I can still (with enough pillows to provide support) hold a book and read it. While I also will download audiobooks from the library onto my iPod and listen to those while I manage other chores, I am resistant to iPads, Kindles, and the like. Heck, I have a computer I can either listen to or read eBooks on.  But nothing quite measures up to the look and the feel of a real, live "low-tech" book.  Hardback or paperback usually make no never mind to me.  I just the love the physical reality of a book in my hands. The most recent series of books I read are actually aimed at the teenager and young adul...

March brought serious surprises to my life. Although I haven't mentioned it, I've been struggling with an increasing disability.  Since late last year, I've been plagued with an unstable spinal condition. What started off as a troublesome pain in my neck (October/November) has deteriorated into diminishing control over the fingers in my right hand (January) and arm (February).  This condition left me without any other option but to file a claim with our state's department of Labor and Industries. (March).  The tenacity of this condition coupled with the state's lethargy to diagnose and treat my condition, spurred my employer into cutting me loose (April). Unfortunately, because of this relentless deterioration, I've had to give up many of my preferred activities and pastimes: personal computing (blogging, social networking, learning new programs). Digital photography (capturing, uploading, captioning, classifying, and printing), knitting and crocheting, p...

Out with the "old" and in with the "new"? On this day we usher in a new year. I'd like to remember 2010. I spent most of the year on the roles of the unemployed but got a good job in August. With the help of my physician, I discovered that my crushing depression was organic and treatable and began a regime of vitamin D. Life has been good ever since. Though I put on a lot of weight (with the depression and all), I have hope that I can take it back off this year. I resolve to make better food choices, eliminating sugar, smaller portions, more water, meal planning and less compulsion. God help me. I lost my Grandma the day after Christmas but I got the blessing of being there at the end. I resolve to hold my family closer this year. I resolve to be an encourager, not a nay sayer. I resolve to get outta this bed and begin to live in 2011. Starting now....

(even without children) 1). Get up with alarm at 5:30 am (hit knees to ask God to direct my day), 2). Get self ready for work, (place a load of laundry in the washer), 3). Go to the bathroom, (clean out the toilet, pick-up any towels and put up new ones), 4). Grab lunch from refrigerator, prepare a nutritious breakfast of yogurt or whole grain cereal, (pick-up previous night's mess, time permitting), 5). Drive to work, stop off at Starbucks or Cutter's Point for a decent cup of coffee, 6). Work a full-time work schedule with a half hour lunch break, 7). Clock-out of work, stop off at bank and/or post office for the office on the way home, 8). Make any number of side trips on the way home such as: nursing home to visit husband's mother (drop off payment once-per-month); grocery store if something needed to make dinner or for the weekly shopping; Sam's Club for monthly AA cake and/or stop off at Chase to deposit weekly AA monies; Reber Ranch to pick-up wild bird f...

Baby it's been a long time since I've blogged! Between summertime and getting a job, my focus has been turned away from trivial pursuits (sort of). I have absolutely neglected my knitting and opted to lounge in the pool during my non-work hours. That is not the whole truth. I have also been scraping and painting the exterior trim of my house before the rains come. I've also been hauling the hose around my 1/2-acre watering the plants, hoping for massive amounts of tomatoes and peppers in the near future. My blueberries were a veritable bust this year. They just never quite ripened to their full deliciousness. THAT is a big bummer. On a positive note, my Clematis is finally blooming with two (count them...two) pretty purple blossoms!

An honest-to-goodness full-time job in my favorite two fields - accounting and administrative. What more could I want? How about to work for a small, successful, family-run business? How about working with two vivacious women about my age (actually a bit younger)? How about being able to ride my motorcycle to work when I feel like it? Yeah, I got that, too! Woo-hoo!!! Take me off the roles of the unemployed and I hope never to be there again. That took a lot longer than I ever imagined!!! Damn near 11 months then all of the sudden, the calls started to come in but I'd already been interviewed for this job and when it turned into a full-time gig...we made a career match. No long commute. No fussing about being on-time, in fact, I bumped up my own hours and generally work the office for the first hour of the day by myself. How great is all of that? Pretty great. Just sayin'

Searching for meaningful work and trying to keep my sanity. It's so easy to fall into despair and if I'm truly honest, I've been there more times than I care to admit on this go round. Have you ever tried to get work that you are perfectly capable of doing, that you've proved yourself in but found that the ground rules have changed? That's where I'm at today and I hate it. What is keeping me relatively sane today? Professional help (in the form of marriage counseling), amateur help (a support group), and the distraction of my private pursuits. I've been downloading audiobooks from the public library and listening to them during my days at home, keeping up on housework as well as pursuing my passion...knitting. I knit as much as I can get away with. My current knit project is a men's cap in a waffle-like pattern (reminds me of a men's thermal top). I'm kind of bored with it but I haven't been motivated to attack the Aran Knit Scarf that...