IntrinsicTina

What did you get for Christmas? Or what did you give? Unfortunately, I  did not give anything, not that I did not try. Just another unfortunate example of what I cannot do for myself, even though I have an augmentative and alternative communication device. After a Christmas morning of quiet, personal lamenting and escaping reality through sleep, my family showed up with gifts and laughter.  Precisely what I needed to lift my flagging spirits. My sister, my surviving sister, the one who, allegedly, doesn't cook, cooked a whole Christmas dinner. My family invited my husband for the Christmas dinner and he brought my mom and dad out to their place in Puyallup. Part of me was jealous that I wasn't even given the opportunity to participate, but a bigger part of me was grateful. I was grateful for the knowledge that my family has fully enfolded my husband into the family, and he won't be alone after I'm gone. I also benefited from her Christmas dinner preparation, the...

Tina's Twelve Days of Christmas (full version) ♫ On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...a glass pickle to hang in the tree. ♩  On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...Two red poinsettias, and a glass pickle to hang in the tree. ♩  On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...Three chocolate Santas, two red poinsettias, and a glass pickle to hang in the tree. ♩  On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...Four rein-dogs poopin', three chocolate Santas, two red poinsettias, and a glass pickle to hang in the tree. ♩  On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...Five red heart ornaments, four rein-dogs poopin', three chocolate Santas, two red poinsettias, and a glass pickle to hang in the tree. ♩  On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...Six bags of kisses, five red heart ornaments, four rein-dogs poopin', three chocolate Santas, two red poinsettias, and a glass pic...

Getting right to it, Tina's Twelve Days of Christmas nears it's crescendo:  ♫ On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... eleven Trophy Cupcakes, ten Snowman bright lights, nine Fran's dark chocolates, eight Christmas crackers, seven cotton candies, six bags of kisses, five red heart ornaments..........four rein-dogs poopin', three chocolate Santas, two red poinsettias, and a glass pickle to hang in the tree. ♫ I have to share with you, the effort my husband is making. He brought me a few different choices for the eleventh day of Christmas: Eleven candy canes, eleven Lindor truffles, and eleven Trophy Cupcakes. Of course, I cannot possibly eat all of the nummy goodies, so my caregivers are, deservedly, getting tasty holiday treats.

24 24 24 My favorite Christmas took place in West Yellowstone, Montana. My husband and I took my daughter to snowmobile Yellowstone National Park. Sixteen, curly, honey-blonde, lightly-blemished, a new driver, full of the cockiness of youth, exuding the air of boredom that only a teenager exhibits when confronted with unfamiliar circumstances. We procured a room upon arrival, the Best Western, abandoning our habit of driving into the night, and sleeping in the car, in a bear-threatened campground. We walked the tiny town, amid parka, polar fleece, wool, and boot-wearing tourists, browsing souvenir shops and dodging sports utility vehicles towing personal snow machines, mobbing the ranger station for tour permits. Snowmobile Rentals, flurry of trying on snowsuits, gloves, and boots, Should we buy balaclavas? Let's get this party started! We depart with a guide, my husband on one machine, myself and my daughter on another, six other snow machines in our caravan, You are entering ...

1 Momentarily sad, and at the extreme risk, of being repetitive, I am frustrated. Why? Let me just state my sincere appreciation for having access to an AAC device, also known as a speech generation device. Without it, I would be trapped in a heinous episode of Twilight Zone or Black Mirror, having a lot to say and not be able to say anything. And in this day and age of technological "miracles". Heinous. I am one of the fortunate ones, whose insurance covered my device, with my diagnosis. I have A.L.S., also known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig's Disease. It's a terminal illness, but before it kills us, it robs us of everything we have and everything we are. The ability to walk, raise our hands, dress and feed ourselves, talk, gesture, and, ultimately, breathe. But I'm here to discuss the ability to discuss, to voice an opinion, to rise up "as it were" and be counted.  I am a fully cognizant individual, informed, college-educated, an...

♫ Ten, ten, ten, ten, let's sing a song of ten. How many is ten? ♫ Like, literally, millions of kids, I grew up watching  Sesame Street and The Electric Company. I watched those programs well into my teens since I was the eldest of four kids. Longer if you factor in seven year gap between the middle children. Of course, I introduced my daughter to my old pals. Is it any wonder that I naturally think of ditties when I hear numerals from one through ten!? Anyway, this is the next verse of Tina's Twelve Days of Christmas...  ♫♫On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...Ten Snowman bright lights, nine Fran's dark chocolates, eight Christmas crackers, seven cotton candies, six bags of kisses, five red heart ornaments, four rein-dogs poopin', three chocolate Santas, two red poinsettias, and a glass pickle to hang in the tree. ♫♫  We are getting ever nearer to the end of the song. Wonder what that husband of mine, has planned for the finale? 

23 The ninth day of Christmas, and I'm peaved. I was so excited to see a Fran's Chocolates bag, and so disappointed to find out that five out of nine were dark. I don't like dark chocolate! I know, I know, I'm terribly ungrateful, and I'm not proud of myself. On the contrary, I'm ashamed of my attitude. I fully understand that I am not owed anything. I know full well the consequences of ingratitude. I am lucky that my husband visits me as much as he does, much less brings me gifts, tacky or not. And still, I was powerless to stop my train wreck to crazy town. Nevermind, that I am worn out by well-meaning caregivers. Some days one after the other, for everything I must do in a day. By the time he shows up, I'm done with patience, tolerance, and kindness. If I ever ever even woke up with any... Oh, admit it, nobody always awakens joyful and happy. I woke up happy then I had a bad hair moment. Here is the most recent installment of Tina's Twelve Day o...