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Embarrassing Moment #633

Living in a nursing facility and having mobility issues gets one automatically placed in adult diapers. (a real ego crusher being forced to unlearn a lifetime of good toileting habits) I'm fortunate enough to be in a facility run more humanely, and can, on occasion, use a bedside commode. However, I must be hoisted by lift and sling, sans dignity-preserving covering, to be deposited upon said commode, like a bottomless, lame zip-lining ride, hoo-hah hanging out. And that's not the most cringe-worthy part!

Add two well-meaning, albeit bumbling patient care technicians, who cannot retain the procedural steps to transfer me and must discuss, start, hesitate, rediscuss, restart. Whilst I clench butt cheeks, rolling my eyes at the absurdity, and try not to think ill thoughts. They finally get me up in the sling when progress again ceases. At the same time, suspended a foot over my hospital bed, my bowels moved infinitesimally. I scolded them in panic, disregarding my dysphasia, my mutterings confounding further momentum. Excreta extruded right onto the sheet before my young helper's saucer-like eyes.

Scarlet-faced and humiliated with no way to hide my face in shame--then I burst out laughing.

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