IntrinsicTina

Out with the "old" and in with the "new"? On this day we usher in a new year. I'd like to remember 2010. I spent most of the year on the roles of the unemployed but got a good job in August. With the help of my physician, I discovered that my crushing depression was organic and treatable and began a regime of vitamin D. Life has been good ever since. Though I put on a lot of weight (with the depression and all), I have hope that I can take it back off this year. I resolve to make better food choices, eliminating sugar, smaller portions, more water, meal planning and less compulsion. God help me. I lost my Grandma the day after Christmas but I got the blessing of being there at the end. I resolve to hold my family closer this year. I resolve to be an encourager, not a nay sayer. I resolve to get outta this bed and begin to live in 2011. Starting now....

I made the serious decision to make a break from a certain organization and a from an individual I was working with closely. These were both difficult decisions to make but I've been in turmoil for about a year about both. I went through some serious depression during the past winter and spring and doubted my ability to make a healthy, rational decision. Since I've been out of my depression, I feel the scales have been removed from my eyes and clearly see both commitments as unhealthy. This group within the organization has continually lacked in retaining members who honor or even volunteer for service commitments. I held a treasurer position for 4 years (normally a 2-year commitment). At one time I held three simultaneous positions as secretary, service representative and literature person. This should have been a signal to me. Instead I chose to see it as "they needed me." The secretary position has been held by a member whom I judge to be non-compliant...

Attended a funeral today. A friend passed away peacefully, not at all the way I thought he would go, if I ever thought about it. It always feels rather odd when somebody "bigger-than-life" departs from said life. There's a funny little void left behind even if you didn't see them all the time. Even if they pissed you off at some point and you thought they didn't matter all that much. People matter. I saw an estranged friend, one who departed my life on her own accord. I said hello and was amazed that she bothered to return the hello. She's been ignoring me for a long time. I still don't want to waste any time on her but the pang of regret was there, greatly diminished, but truly still there. People matter. My husband called to see if he could bring home some dinner. I was compelled to tell him not to pass away anytime soon. He said that he had not immediate plans. I'll bet our dearly departed didn't have any immediate plans either. Very sa...

Today is my 14-year AA birthday. Fourteen years ago today I re-committed myself to living sober. Life continues to have it's ups and downs and I continue to live my life without indulging in alcohol or mood-altering drugs. It's a good life. I don't always think so but I do today. I'm happy and healthy with room for improvement. I ought never to complain. A happy medium. I am told that is the best that I can hope for. Too much of a good thing or not enough can really send one around the bend. If that's true, then I'm exactly where I should be. Content.

(even without children) 1). Get up with alarm at 5:30 am (hit knees to ask God to direct my day), 2). Get self ready for work, (place a load of laundry in the washer), 3). Go to the bathroom, (clean out the toilet, pick-up any towels and put up new ones), 4). Grab lunch from refrigerator, prepare a nutritious breakfast of yogurt or whole grain cereal, (pick-up previous night's mess, time permitting), 5). Drive to work, stop off at Starbucks or Cutter's Point for a decent cup of coffee, 6). Work a full-time work schedule with a half hour lunch break, 7). Clock-out of work, stop off at bank and/or post office for the office on the way home, 8). Make any number of side trips on the way home such as: nursing home to visit husband's mother (drop off payment once-per-month); grocery store if something needed to make dinner or for the weekly shopping; Sam's Club for monthly AA cake and/or stop off at Chase to deposit weekly AA monies; Reber Ranch to pick-up wild bird f...

Baby it's been a long time since I've blogged! Between summertime and getting a job, my focus has been turned away from trivial pursuits (sort of). I have absolutely neglected my knitting and opted to lounge in the pool during my non-work hours. That is not the whole truth. I have also been scraping and painting the exterior trim of my house before the rains come. I've also been hauling the hose around my 1/2-acre watering the plants, hoping for massive amounts of tomatoes and peppers in the near future. My blueberries were a veritable bust this year. They just never quite ripened to their full deliciousness. THAT is a big bummer. On a positive note, my Clematis is finally blooming with two (count them...two) pretty purple blossoms!

An honest-to-goodness full-time job in my favorite two fields - accounting and administrative. What more could I want? How about to work for a small, successful, family-run business? How about working with two vivacious women about my age (actually a bit younger)? How about being able to ride my motorcycle to work when I feel like it? Yeah, I got that, too! Woo-hoo!!! Take me off the roles of the unemployed and I hope never to be there again. That took a lot longer than I ever imagined!!! Damn near 11 months then all of the sudden, the calls started to come in but I'd already been interviewed for this job and when it turned into a full-time gig...we made a career match. No long commute. No fussing about being on-time, in fact, I bumped up my own hours and generally work the office for the first hour of the day by myself. How great is all of that? Pretty great. Just sayin'