IntrinsicTina

Today marks 16 years of marriage between my husband and myself. I'd like to think of it as a good marriage but it's been a mixed bag. Our early years were spent in mutual admiration and adoration. We rode motorcycles, logging miles all over Washington State, including Mount St. Helens, Mt. Rainier National Park, Hurricane Ridge in OlympicNational Park, as well as Crater Lake, Glacier National Park, and Canada. A memory, that I hold dear, is Rod and I riding double up on his black Harley "bagger", along with his brother, Stephen, on his white Honda Shadow, to the Carbon Glacier. A hot, early summer day drove us up to the cooler elevations of Mount Rainier to enjoy the breezes and wildflowers.We kicked about for awhile, clad in our leathers, until the day waned and cooled then headed back down the mountain. No traffic to speak of, we gently slalom down the roadway, wide, sweeping arcs and I lift my arms and imagine I'm flying. A delicious respite, freedom from t...

. I've long wanted to chronicle my own experiences regarding sex. I'm not exactly sure why because I'm certain it places me squarely in slut territory, and opens me up for criticism and shaming. However, experience has shown me that when tough things are lain upon my heart, and I obey, good things are generated, that somebody needs to hear, or read, exactly what I have to say. So, here goes...

Just read a meme on Facebook: Love your spouse more than you love your career, hobbies, and money. That stuff can't love you back.

68 I use a Tobii I-series I-15 Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC) device to communicate 1-on-1 with people or in my blog. I've been using my tobii since 2013, three years and three months, to be exact. My AAC device can be used by touch or eyegaze, but I've always used the eyegaze feature since my hands went kaput back in 2012. Tobii is my main tool for communication since most people cannot understand my speech impediment.  Or more accurately, my unintelligible speech.  Specifically,  I use it to place phone calls to either my husband or for emergency use. I also use tobii to email, instant message on Facebook, social media, like Facebook, Twitter, PatientsLikeMe and Good Reads. I maintain a personal blog on Blogger which I devote a great deal of time to.  (Of course, you already know this if you're reading this post online.) Naturally, I must use tobii to communicate in real time for one-to-one conversations or for communicating in a group situation...

My niece came by the nursing home to visit me. What an honor! That may seem like an odd thing to say but I have a reason for my gratitude. I believe that I held my husband's family at arm's length unfairly. I loved my husband fiercely and selfishly, to the exclusion of others (with the exception of my daughter).  I also judged them as dysfunctional, like my own brand of dysfunction was somehow better. The devil you know... Anyway, the veil has been lifted.  I have new eyes and a renewed heart. I've known this beautiful young woman since she was five or six. This little blonde, active, smiling imp bounced around when her father had custody. Accompanied by her hyperactive, "tough" of a brother, always picking on her and acting up. Made it difficult to watch and be around. Allergies or some undiagnosed respiratory issue left her with a perpetual snot nose and a bitter, jealous mother, freshly-divorced, pulling custody and child support stunts made it difficult to...

Sing it with me... "I went skydiving; I went Rocky Mountain climbing; I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu..."  Hell to the yeah!  It was an awe-inspiring, balls-to-the-wall, scream-worthy, boundary-pushing event! A not-to-be-denied booster shot to my ego. It was so far out of my formerly staid domestic life. Nobody saw it coming...not even me! Following the implosion of my marriage with the requisite accusations, grenade-lobbing of insults, splitting of the money, bills, furnishings and paraphernalia of a married life, I was an empty shell walking. Alternately filled to bursting with anger, bitterness, rage, self-loathing, and terror, without a support system, I turned to alcohol, men, and anything that took me out of me. Oddly, it was a man, my paramedic, who appeared following a suicide attempt, that introduced the idea of skydiving. He described his experiences and the idea took root and quickly came to fruition. One beautiful, sunny desert day, I awoke to t...

Dear Renee´, I still think of you every day. I don't cry every day because I saw you infrequently and it's as if you will visit soon, as you always told me. But every so often the finality hits me and off I go on a crying jag. This time, I was watching the movie, San Andreas with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I don't know what triggered the sudden deluge, the death of loved ones or being reminded that San Francisco and surroundings were your stomping grounds. Or simply because I wish we watched it together. Perhaps, all the above. I miss you. .