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Love is not Enough

Just because my husband says he loves me does not make him a good caregiver. If love is what I have then love is not getting the house clean, or making sure I have all the medications that I need, or making sure I have truly nutritious meals, or have any attention whatsoever to my emotional condition. Any suggestions that I have are met with much more than light resistance, in fact I am accused of heaping too many tasks on and being a shrew that always knows what's right and this stuff is told to me heavy on the sarcasm and derision. 

I do not deserve to have mental anguish foisted upon me in what is likely the last years of my life. One would think that a man at 58 years old would develop some kind of a loving conscience. But instead I have my dry drunk husband that is good at looking good to others while behind closed doors he heaps on the mental abuse and employs manipulative and bullying behaviors to get his way.  His Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality makes it near to impossible for me to maintain an even emotional keel. I need help.

From day to day I do not know if I'm going to be confronted with the angry frustrated abusive cabinet-slamming furniture-throwing man.  Or if I am going to actually wake up to that thoughtful loving man that I thought I married.

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