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Epic Fails of my Life

This is the most difficult blogpost I believe I'll ever write because it will "out" me like never before. This is a public blog; I have no illusions of secrecy or privacy. Only under the perceived protection of confidentiality, granted by various 12-step program sponsors, did I detail, share, face, and overcome the shame of my past.
  1. I was molested, repeatedly, by a male babysitter at 5 years old. I realize that I was not at fault for this, and I have gone on to use my tragedy to connect with and help to heal others.
  2. I engaged in risky behaviors from the age of 15 to 19, in the forms of underage drinking, promiscuity, marijuana, barbituates, cocaine, and LSD. 
  3. I was raped by a student doctor the night I ran away from home, at 15-years old. 
  4. I was raped by a sailor at an underage drinking party. 
  5. I cheated on my first husband, imploding my first marriage, affecting my daughter, husband, and myself, as well as our respective families, adversely.
  6. I believed, and entered into a sexual relationship, with a man who told me he was technically married but was ending the marriage. 
  7. I terminated a pregnancy by a married man. 
  8.  In a fit of jealous rage, I attacked my preteen daughter, lifting her off the ground, by the throat. 
  9.  I participated in 13-stepping, and said, "it's okay", after being informed by my partner that he had herpes, in early sobriety, ultimately, contracting the disease.
  10. I experimented with bisexuality and the swinger's lifestyle, in early sobriety.
This list should dispel any rumors of me being a paragon of virtue, or thwart any misguided efforts of pursuing sainthood.

And I am proof to the myth "once a cheater, always a cheater" is not true.I got sober, clean, and free of sex baggage; I have gone on to find a good man and never strayed. I have a great relationship with my daughter. I have managed to live a good socially-sensitive life.

Judge me as you will; your opinion is none of my business.

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