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Melancholy

Back together after abandonment.  Everything has changed.  Love is finite.  It has an expiration date.  Ours appears to be rancid.

While we are physically together, i am alone, lonely, and in agony.  When I speak of love, he hurls the accusation of manipulation.  A well-tred trek from home to vacation home (2-hours in the wheelchair van) through the beautiful Mt. Rainier National Park yields melancholîa and strife between us.  He steadfastly clings to the notion that my world is so small, I may as well live in the confined space of a nursing home.  I feel betrayed as I try to explain the concept of loving and being cared for and watched over and protected as the culmination of a life well-loved.

Who says my world is small?  It remains as small as he is willing to box me in.  I am busy everyday...water aerobics 3X/week, sober meetings 3X/week, doctor, dental, and massage appointments, getting my hair done, nails done, and dammit, I need waxing.  I'm thinking Brazilian...just saying.  Road trip, you say?  Bring it.  Cruise ship?  Don't cancel my reservation, Asshole!

Small world?  I talk to PALS all over the world through PatientsLikeMe.com as well as through FaceBook.  I read, I talk, I type, and I vote, Sucker!  Do Not Invalidate me!!!  It is NOT okay to throw me away simply because I caught a terminal illness and you caught a case of the ass.
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