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Sleep Wake

Sleep, I've been sleeping a lot more lately. Generally, I wake up or am awakened at six or seven in the morning. Next is my breakfast around eight. At times, I will nap in between. Lunch is noon and I've been napping many days from breakfast to lunch (that is new for me). Sometimes I don't bother waking for lunch either. Dinner is five and while I am normally awake, I frequently opt out. Saving my appetite for more palatable fare.  And saving my energy for more engaging company, like my husband or the evening aides who have known me since January and know I am of sound mind.

Part of my extra sleeping has to do with increased fatigue due to the ALS, but part is due to lack of stimulation. The company is not very interesting and the food is cardboard institutional. Additionally, I lack adequate outside access. Looking out the window is just not enough especially if that window doesn't open or looks upon graffiti-laden fences. If I were home, I would be sitting on the front deck, watching the birds in the trees, smelling the neighbor's barbecue, listening to the kids playing, mowers mowing, and dogs barking. Instead, I smell feces and disinfectant and reheated foodstuffs. I live amongst half-dressed, mentally-impaired persons.And while I don't mind mingling and making life better for all of us, I need to fill up my cup, too.

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