It's seems like such a simple thing. I've been attending to this dirty business for most of my life, at least since I was a little girl. Never had I thought I would be powerless over a bathtub, soap, shampoo, or washcloth but I am. My husband has been accompanying me in the shower (in our bathtub) for months, even prior to diagnosis due to the weakening of my right arm, hand, and fingers. Raising my right arm over my shoulders has long been beyond my ability and I even developed a case of "frozen shoulder" though I've worked hard to free it up with the help of my massage therapist. Even so, an effective shampoo by my own hand is out of the question.
So, this week marks the end of soaking in the bathtub for me. My husband assured me that IF I were unable to get out of the tub, he would help me out. It was impossible for me to get out and I cried piteously over the loss while shivering naked. My husband put the dreaded gatebelt on me, stepped into the tub and hoisted. I was afraid. Afraid for myself that he might break one of my ribs and afraid for him that he'd blow out his back. He was successful and I continued to grieve while he dried me off and got me dressed for the day.
Next day we get smarter and he brings in the transfer bench. He's in naysayer mode. (Did I mention he's been low level sick for weeks?) He's certain I'm going to drench the bathroom floor and ruin the subfloor, I guess. I patiently explain that we cut two strips in the shower liner and insert into the thin slot on the transfer bench. I even suggest that I can make the appropriate marks with a fat Sharpie(R). (I haven't been able to write for many months.) He grudgingly grabs the scissors and cuts the wrong way thinking he knows a better way and will cut out the whole section (allowing water to stream out onto the floor. Put a new shower liner on the list!) It becomes obvious that he also thinks he's going to bathe me from outside of the tub as he complains about the decorative layer. Wow! Were we ever NOT on the same page!
I think I get it later...he's pissed off at himself that he's procrastinated the master bathroom remodel and now we really can use a curbless shower to take care of the business of cleanliness. Unfortunately my husband is the victim of his own delusions and denial but thankfully he is here to muscle through the error of his ways and give me the help I desperately need.
Did I mention the kindness of strangers? Actually this acquaintance is quickly becoming a friend. I admired her handiwork, she's new to crochet, and darn if she didn't give me a handmade washcloth. I was thrilled! I get asked, "What do you need?" but does anyone really want an answer? I think not so much. Anyway, she and I discuss how I cannot grasp and hold wet washcloths and she makes a plan...drawstring washcloth...and whips one up. Tie it on and get down to the business of bathing. It works great!!! Thank you Karen!
So, this week marks the end of soaking in the bathtub for me. My husband assured me that IF I were unable to get out of the tub, he would help me out. It was impossible for me to get out and I cried piteously over the loss while shivering naked. My husband put the dreaded gatebelt on me, stepped into the tub and hoisted. I was afraid. Afraid for myself that he might break one of my ribs and afraid for him that he'd blow out his back. He was successful and I continued to grieve while he dried me off and got me dressed for the day.
Next day we get smarter and he brings in the transfer bench. He's in naysayer mode. (Did I mention he's been low level sick for weeks?) He's certain I'm going to drench the bathroom floor and ruin the subfloor, I guess. I patiently explain that we cut two strips in the shower liner and insert into the thin slot on the transfer bench. I even suggest that I can make the appropriate marks with a fat Sharpie(R). (I haven't been able to write for many months.) He grudgingly grabs the scissors and cuts the wrong way thinking he knows a better way and will cut out the whole section (allowing water to stream out onto the floor. Put a new shower liner on the list!) It becomes obvious that he also thinks he's going to bathe me from outside of the tub as he complains about the decorative layer. Wow! Were we ever NOT on the same page!
I think I get it later...he's pissed off at himself that he's procrastinated the master bathroom remodel and now we really can use a curbless shower to take care of the business of cleanliness. Unfortunately my husband is the victim of his own delusions and denial but thankfully he is here to muscle through the error of his ways and give me the help I desperately need.
Did I mention the kindness of strangers? Actually this acquaintance is quickly becoming a friend. I admired her handiwork, she's new to crochet, and darn if she didn't give me a handmade washcloth. I was thrilled! I get asked, "What do you need?" but does anyone really want an answer? I think not so much. Anyway, she and I discuss how I cannot grasp and hold wet washcloths and she makes a plan...drawstring washcloth...and whips one up. Tie it on and get down to the business of bathing. It works great!!! Thank you Karen!
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