It's the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. I'm alone even though I reside in a shared bedroom with a 78-year old woman. I'm alone in this skilled nursing facility housing 100+ souls. I'm reconciled to my aloneness. My heart doesn't hurt. At least not today. I hold hope in my heart that my husband will visit. He begged off taking me to church this morning citing snow yet the roads are clear. But I hold hope nonetheless.
I have God. I know I do. He never leaves me and carries me every day, every minute. Especially when I'm weak and in despair.
I remember catching fireflies, putting them in a jar, as a girl of five. I picked pears off a tree that overhung an alleyway on my route home from school, then enjoyed the forbidden fruit. .I had a golden cat who chased a gray mouse through our living room sending my mother, 3-year old sister, and me screaming atop the sofa and chairs. We lived in a farmhouse and I watched Romper Room. A daddy longlegs skittered across my dirty kid legs as I teeter-tottered on a broken kitchen chair back. I played grocery store and laid out a bedroll for group nap time in preschool. We lived in an apartment attached to a bakery. My maternal grandparents visited and a photo was snapped. Grandma held Dawn and Grandpa held me. I held Grandpa's chin. Walking through the back of the flour-caked kitchen, I saw scrumptious pastries and colorful toys stuck in the cupcakes with my hungry kids eyes. We lived in a two-story apartment building next door to a large farmer's field. That field was my...
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