Skip to main content

Spasmodica

Acute muscle spasms wrack different parts of my body; I yawn and my throat goes into spasm, threatening to lockdown my voice box. When I tilt my head up to get my teeth brushed, my neck muscles clench shooting pain to the base of my skull. A tiny muscle has "given up the ghost" on the left side of my mouth, while the right side lifts baring my front teeth. My nose twitches but not in the cute Bewitched way.

Whenever I am moved down in bed, my chest spasms and I, spasmodically gasp and gulp for air. Speaking of my chest, there are two muscles that jiggle my breasts; now, those spasms are comedic. They seem to say, "Hey, lookie here!". A lot of good that would do!

Muscles in my arms, legs, and torso wiggle and jiggle countless times throughout the day. It's gotten so that I barely notice them, save for the largest ones that seem like I can measure on a seismograph. Reclining brings on a spontaneous stretch that, literally, curls my toes. Unfortunately, many quite often lock those toes and "charlie" my calves bilaterally.

It may sound like I have nothing but pain and discomfort; I don't. I manage to get along, narcotic-free, most of the time. Gabapentin (Neurontin) for nerve pain, Ibuprofen for pain relief, and a non-narcotic muscle relaxer, are my mainstays for functioning. Thus far, it works but I've been forced to use hydrocodone and morphine for short periods for breakthrough pain. Luckily, this has occurred only a few times. Occasionally, I've had to resort to a mild narcotic muscle relaxer, Tizanadine.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Remember...

I remember catching fireflies,  putting them in a jar, as a girl of five. I picked pears off a tree that overhung an alleyway on my route home from school, then enjoyed the forbidden fruit. .I had a golden cat who chased a gray mouse through our living room sending my mother, 3-year old sister, and me screaming atop the sofa and chairs. We lived in a farmhouse and I watched Romper Room. A daddy longlegs skittered across my dirty kid legs as I teeter-tottered on a broken kitchen chair back. I played grocery store and laid out a bedroll for group nap time in preschool. We lived in an apartment attached to a bakery. My maternal grandparents visited and a photo was snapped. Grandma held Dawn and Grandpa held me. I held Grandpa's chin. Walking through the back of the flour-caked kitchen, I saw scrumptious pastries and colorful toys stuck in the cupcakes with my hungry kids eyes. We lived in a two-story apartment building next door to a large farmer's field.  That field was my...

Lashing Out

Fed up. Sick of hearing, "I'm sorry."  Apologies don't erase the pain you inflict on me. You pull my pubic hair. Your nitrile gloves pull the hair from my head. Not once in a while but day in and day out. You turn me in a manner that suits you rather than in a manner that doesn't stress my body. Why won't you use the pad and sheet to turn me as one unit? Instead, you allow my body to twist as you hold me one-handed. How good you are at your job. What part of "my muscles are dying" don't you understand?

Managed

Managed care, do not get me started. It is the bane of my existence and my savior. If quadriplegia has curtailed my activities, and it has, then being in a home has curtailed even more. I've had to dumb it down and set my standards low. Gone, are the halcyon days of getting in my wheelchair to go for a stroll or sit in the sun, or even sit in the sun room. Neither the nurses, nor patient care technicians, know how to put me in my wheelchair. Seriously. My chair has head controls and it is a bafflement. Most caregivers don't even realize I have head controls. First, they hit the left head pad when they lift the armrest which turns the chair on. Next, they sling me over and place me in the chair. The problem? My head, naturally, rests on the headrest, which accelerates and drives the chair and is beyond my control. Running over a caregiver or running myself into an obstruction are very real consequences of their ignorance. What could be worse? The caregivers remain clueless abo...