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Bliss Interrupted

Well, there it is there! It was bound to happen, but it took not a week for this home to violate my trust, contradict themselves, and demean me.

This evening, Valentine's Day, I was unable to go to the bathroom (#2) when I got frustrated. I was trying to communicate a new method, getting a new bolster at the foot of the bed to push against. I figured it would give me leverage. My husband has no tolerance for what he percieves as my impatience, emotions, (frustration, anger, sadness), or ridiculous notions. (Yeah, he left me when I needed him.)

I was frustrated because : (1)  I keep having to deal with constipation, (2) my speech is failing at a rapid pace, even my husband doesn't decipher me, (3) The charge nurse, nurse, and patient care technician all decided it was a problem to turn me on my side without lowering my bed to the floor. (Yet, they've already set the precedent with me in the past two nights that it was okay to be on my side with the bed at the regular height.)

Two issues I have with the latter: (1) it's reminiscent of the iron fist and selective enforcement of "policy" and (2) lowering the bed to the floor was used as a form of control and demeaning to a lucid patient by Life Care Center of Federal Way. I've never had my humanity and dignity wrenched from me so much!

Being dependent sucks!

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