What a great couple of days! The June installment of the ALS Association Support Meeting held on the third Wednesday of the month at Bailey Boushay House. Although this particular meeting brought up some feelings of loss and grief, it was educational, inspiring, and peaceful. Barcha taught us about P.E.R.M.A. Otherwise known as positive emotions, engagement, relationship, meaning, and accomplishment. Not what you might think and something I cannot speak to. But it explained why I am happy for the most part despite my disease.
Another reason for the great days was a very special visitor, Rodney's cousin, Ruthanne Brauch, who has been steadfast support since before I got ALS. We met when I planned a 95th Birthday party for Aunt Mac, my mother-in-law, Magdalena "Madeline" Flink. Somehow, in the midst of all the party hubbub, we made a connection. I liked her immediately, and she liked me. We loosely stayed in contact, then somebody in the family grapevine got their wires crossed when reporting that Rod's first wife died. Ruthanne sent my husband a sympathy card expressing her shock and condolences over my sudden death . I told him we needed to tell her immediately. And we did.
When I discovered that I had ALS, Ruthanne was one of the first family members we notified,partly due to the recent miscommunication, and partly because I just wanted her to know. I had no idea she would become one of my staunchest supporters and one of my greatest sources of inspiration. When all else failed, when my family failed to show up, when my husband's support flagged, I would get a phone call or a card from Ruthanne! She's an amazing friend. Today she showed up for a visit! All the way from Florida and uses her precious time and energy to visit me.
I once heard from my favorite AA speaker, Scott Lee, "You can pretend to care, but you cannot pretend to show up." This statement is so true! I appreciate cards, letters, but most of all, visits. I spend a great deal of time alone and while I can and have dealt with it, I prefer to see friends and family. This is not to say that I don't appreciate Facebook posts, email messages, or prayers, I do, but nothing beats feeling human touch, looking into familiar loving faces, and hearing familiar voices, particularly, laughter.
Ruthanne spent two and a half hours with me, regaling me with stories of her travels. Although, she was born in Washington state, she has lived and traveled throughout the world. She and her husband have lived in New Jersey, China, Brazil, and Oregon (of all places)! And they've traveled to places like Panama, Greece, and Europe (that I've heard of). I loved hearing about far flung places I've never been to. I also loved looking at her photos and learning more about her and Chet's branch of the family tree. She has an adorable and smart grandson, Ethan, born to their second son, Sean and his wife, Holly.
Regrettably, we've never met their children who are now grown and my age. That's kind of the ways of family anymore. We're so separate in America anymore, or is it just our families? I know I put the pursuit of success first before family much of the time. I have to say that I felt societal pressure to perform, live within my means, don't accumulate too much debt, save for a rainy day, and an abhorance of welfare. I wanted to build and create a simple life to stretch what I considered meager savings and retirement pensions. But, I also wanted to live well. Hence, the ambition and drive. I wanted to impress my parents. I also dreamed of being able to care for my parents as they aged. Well, that didn't work out.
Anyway, I had a good...Week... actually.
Another reason for the great days was a very special visitor, Rodney's cousin, Ruthanne Brauch, who has been steadfast support since before I got ALS. We met when I planned a 95th Birthday party for Aunt Mac, my mother-in-law, Magdalena "Madeline" Flink. Somehow, in the midst of all the party hubbub, we made a connection. I liked her immediately, and she liked me. We loosely stayed in contact, then somebody in the family grapevine got their wires crossed when reporting that Rod's first wife died. Ruthanne sent my husband a sympathy card expressing her shock and condolences over my sudden death . I told him we needed to tell her immediately. And we did.
When I discovered that I had ALS, Ruthanne was one of the first family members we notified,partly due to the recent miscommunication, and partly because I just wanted her to know. I had no idea she would become one of my staunchest supporters and one of my greatest sources of inspiration. When all else failed, when my family failed to show up, when my husband's support flagged, I would get a phone call or a card from Ruthanne! She's an amazing friend. Today she showed up for a visit! All the way from Florida and uses her precious time and energy to visit me.
I once heard from my favorite AA speaker, Scott Lee, "You can pretend to care, but you cannot pretend to show up." This statement is so true! I appreciate cards, letters, but most of all, visits. I spend a great deal of time alone and while I can and have dealt with it, I prefer to see friends and family. This is not to say that I don't appreciate Facebook posts, email messages, or prayers, I do, but nothing beats feeling human touch, looking into familiar loving faces, and hearing familiar voices, particularly, laughter.
Ruthanne spent two and a half hours with me, regaling me with stories of her travels. Although, she was born in Washington state, she has lived and traveled throughout the world. She and her husband have lived in New Jersey, China, Brazil, and Oregon (of all places)! And they've traveled to places like Panama, Greece, and Europe (that I've heard of). I loved hearing about far flung places I've never been to. I also loved looking at her photos and learning more about her and Chet's branch of the family tree. She has an adorable and smart grandson, Ethan, born to their second son, Sean and his wife, Holly.
Regrettably, we've never met their children who are now grown and my age. That's kind of the ways of family anymore. We're so separate in America anymore, or is it just our families? I know I put the pursuit of success first before family much of the time. I have to say that I felt societal pressure to perform, live within my means, don't accumulate too much debt, save for a rainy day, and an abhorance of welfare. I wanted to build and create a simple life to stretch what I considered meager savings and retirement pensions. But, I also wanted to live well. Hence, the ambition and drive. I wanted to impress my parents. I also dreamed of being able to care for my parents as they aged. Well, that didn't work out.
Anyway, I had a good...Week... actually.
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