"Your husband is a saint." that sentiment never fails to piss me off!
Yeah, I should just graciously accept the compliment on behalf of my husband but... I've been on the receiving end of his surly temper, impatience, and complete lack of empathy. I've felt sheer terror when his hands wrapped around my throat; when he threw me out of the wheelchair van; when he walked away from me in the pitch dark of North Dakota and I was wheelchair bound.
I've felt the bitter taste of spousal betrayal when he abandoned me on four separate occasions. .I went from a healthy independent woman to quadrapalegic in eight short months. I needed my wedding vows honored. "In sickness and in health..." Not abandonment and my man actively campaigning against Me, trying to prove mental incompetence and calling attorneys to investigate divorce. These are facts, not just my perception.
He chose to cancel my ticket for a Disney cruise through the Panama Canal when it was to be my final vacation. And to make matters worse, he went on our cruise. At no time did he call me and neither did he come home when he returned. More uncertainty and humiliation, like ALS wasn't enough.
That is why I hardly think he is a candidate for sainthood. That said, there are reasons I allow him in my life, such as it is, today. I've accepted the fact that he is a miserable failure with regard to caring for me day-to-day and managing a household and taking care of himself. I've come to realize that I was the anchor of our family And I can hardly place all of the blame on him when I allowed myself to be so disillusioned.
These days I live away from home in a hospice facility. He visits me during the week, after work, most of the time. He brings me flowers often, chocolate, a lot, and stuff from home (after numerous requests and begging). Additionally, he will floss and brush my teeth and clean my ears. Very necessary care tasks that are seldom done properly. For that, I am extremely grateful.
I love when he feeds me dinner and shares it with me. He knows most of what I'm able to eat and drink. I also appreciate when we hang out and watch television together.It feels almost normal to sit together and connect over a shared movie television show. The best thing about his visits are those times when he leans over and touches me affectionately.
Bottomline: All my expectations aside, I fell in love with this man seventeen years ago and I'm not willing to flush away our years together because my husband was ill-equipped for this extraordinary life situation.
Yeah, I should just graciously accept the compliment on behalf of my husband but... I've been on the receiving end of his surly temper, impatience, and complete lack of empathy. I've felt sheer terror when his hands wrapped around my throat; when he threw me out of the wheelchair van; when he walked away from me in the pitch dark of North Dakota and I was wheelchair bound.
I've felt the bitter taste of spousal betrayal when he abandoned me on four separate occasions. .I went from a healthy independent woman to quadrapalegic in eight short months. I needed my wedding vows honored. "In sickness and in health..." Not abandonment and my man actively campaigning against Me, trying to prove mental incompetence and calling attorneys to investigate divorce. These are facts, not just my perception.
He chose to cancel my ticket for a Disney cruise through the Panama Canal when it was to be my final vacation. And to make matters worse, he went on our cruise. At no time did he call me and neither did he come home when he returned. More uncertainty and humiliation, like ALS wasn't enough.
That is why I hardly think he is a candidate for sainthood. That said, there are reasons I allow him in my life, such as it is, today. I've accepted the fact that he is a miserable failure with regard to caring for me day-to-day and managing a household and taking care of himself. I've come to realize that I was the anchor of our family And I can hardly place all of the blame on him when I allowed myself to be so disillusioned.
These days I live away from home in a hospice facility. He visits me during the week, after work, most of the time. He brings me flowers often, chocolate, a lot, and stuff from home (after numerous requests and begging). Additionally, he will floss and brush my teeth and clean my ears. Very necessary care tasks that are seldom done properly. For that, I am extremely grateful.
I love when he feeds me dinner and shares it with me. He knows most of what I'm able to eat and drink. I also appreciate when we hang out and watch television together.It feels almost normal to sit together and connect over a shared movie television show. The best thing about his visits are those times when he leans over and touches me affectionately.
Bottomline: All my expectations aside, I fell in love with this man seventeen years ago and I'm not willing to flush away our years together because my husband was ill-equipped for this extraordinary life situation.
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